OH GOD! View high resolution

OH GOD!

Happy Birthday Arnesh :)

what a miserable FUCKING time this is. all  i wanted was platters man, just some platters and a new phone. im using my razr, the one i had in freshman year. my other phone broke and was miserable to use. its touch screen didnt respond and it just didnt turn on after a while. theres a huge discount on data plans right now and the fact that its a 4g data plane makes it all the more irresistible. god i wish my dad had some FUCKING FUCK GIN+IANFEWIUFNWIEUFNWEIUF NWEIUFNWEIUwsunvweiurcnwieucn. this shit really pisses me off, its like im in high school again. i did that stupid thing i always do when i take away something from him because i feel like getting back at him so i took away my laptop and the hdmi cable so he couldnt watch cricket. i really want to be treated like a fucking adult, especially since i am one now. also, i dont understand why i cant get a job. ive applied at least 10 times to several different places but something always shows up and i cant get a job for some stupid reason. this stuff is just kind of sad. i feel like ive been rejected everywhere i go for anything i desire. like colleges and stuff too. and i got kicked out of the high school on friday. i even had my old school id but wasnt allowed in because i didnt have teachers approval. i feel kind of broken, like a vase thats been toppled from a very high altititude and then stepped on relentlessly and kicked to the side. but ill quit bitching, after all i am quite the arneshasaurus :) i liked my morning today. it was the ideal birthday morning. i woke up at 5:15 and busted a real large load, after which i proceeded to the bathroom to clean myself up for the day. i was downstairs by 7 and started up the xbox and laptop. i got live and downloaded a bunch of stuff. then i took the van out to dunkin donuts for some breakfast and had a real nice breakfast. i strolled over to best buy then and bought myself 1600 microsoft points and got the ballad of gay tony. its new and improved and a lot more colorful. i think ill be the bigger man and give my dad the stuff back to watch cricket. i dont think ill get my phone this year. sometimes you have to buy things for yourself and gift them to yourself because no one else will give you gifts. no one showed me a good time or cared about what i wanted today. just some strangers. i like those strangers, some guy held the door open for me at dunkin donuts as he was leaving and another guy said whatsup to me when i walked into best buy. not a “hello” or “good morning sir,” i got a “whatsup” :-) that made me feel quite special indeed and very young. but yeah, i wanted to go to new york, get platters, head over to a verizon store and get the galaxy nexus and texting. i wouldve been back in form and happy as fuck. instead, i got an undesired trip to the statue of liberty and i dont have texting because of some stupid shit i did nearly 2 years ago. fuck pmc, thats probably the reason i didnt get into my colleges. if i had something i might have gotten in. i fucking hate rutgers, and my gpa. fuck.

Happy Birthday Harshini :]

ill always remember you like this :-) youve been a tight friend for a while now and you know quite a bit about me and i know some stuff about you. youve helped me understand why certain things happened in the past and it was nice because we could talk about anything. i really wish it could be your sweet sixteen again, you have no idea how happy i was when i got a candle, and to date it has been my only candle =]

this one always brings a tear or two :’)

“
If I could change I would, take back the pain I would, retrace every wrong move that I made I would.
Linkin Park, Easier to Run
[Flash 10 is required to watch video]

Games, Personality Traits, and Sex.

GTA IV. this game is fantastic in ways more than i can even begin to enumerate. the games you play and the activities you engage in add certain components to your personality. i find myself relating real life situations to those in the games i play. whether it be need for speed or assassins creed, i like doing the dirty deeds because i cant do them in real life. i like having a constant sense of security in GTA IV because even though ive beat the game and there is not much more to do besides kill people, burn shit, and fuck school, i find myself going back for the sole purpose of being able to get in touch with the time period that i used to play the game in. ive found myself drifting back to the past so often these past few months that its almost unhealthy. sometimes i tear a bit because i realize that things will never be the same anymore. i know what i sound like; i sound like a girl and i sound pathetic and its true. i do sound like a girl and it is very pathetic, but its also incredibly true. for these two sole reasons ive decided to give up reminiscing about things lost and find a new focus in life. after watching many videos on youtube about a gay man talking about how to get a boyfriend, i have realized that i might just need a girlfriend. but not like this, not in my present state. i need to bring myself together and spend some time with myself. everyone needs to do this actually. i know a couple of people who have tried and failed at the pimp game but its cool, we all try. and fail miserably -___- however, we must pick ourselves up again and cultivate an attractiveness about us. the gay man told me that i need to spend more time with myself so that alone time isnt boring; rather, time with myself should become a gift and something i look forward to. to be honest, everytime i hear graduation or the college dropout i miss high school and middle school so much. the memories flash by and i feel like they can become reality, like ill wake up in 15 minutes and realize that i was just daydreaming while taking a dump and that my moms yelling for me to come downstairs because i might miss the bus. i really hope i wake up soon :-( i havent been this wishful about anything, not even santa clause. but whatever, i get bummed out once every month for some reason like im on my period or something. but i did watch a video and the gay man told me to live my life being content with myself and for some reason, the next time i go home i will buy gillette aftershave, and shave for a good ten minutes. i know its not necessary to spend ten minutes shaving, but i just want to shave and spend some quality time with myself. maybe ill throw in a nice bubble bath or something. i think im just homesick but that will be cured this weekend OH YES IT WILL i just need to find some way to indulge in myself for the time being. i think ill go wash my face with some nivea face wash. but yeah, the video of the guy shaving really got to me. oh, and in case anyone still stumbles upon these posts, i didnt have anything to say about sex. i just included it in the title because it attracts casual attention and because i feel like a champion right about now :]

6 Things I Would Like to Have Again

1) I kind of miss those little BFOY gaming sessions. They were fun you know: that Gears 2 or Marvel vs Capcom 3. Even I wasn’t good, I still had fun playing for some reason ):-]

2) I miss driving at night to Five Guys with five guys. Sometimes I go back but the burgers don’t taste as good as they once did. Even though it was just a bunch of guys sitting down with our nice lil bussy burgers, the experience was more tasty than the average burger for some reason :-)

3) Girls are very frustrating sometimes. Guys are much more understanding about certain situations, and even though it is great fun being around girls, sometimes I want to revert back to the circle of guy friends I once had for some reason =]

4) School and the infinite random encounters that it encompassed are simply insurmountable. College may be all that, but sometimes I prefer a nice can of Dr. Pepper with a nice group of classmates as opposed to a reckless red cup of recklessness with a reckless group of college people for some reason :)

5) Best friends are very hard to come by in this cold, hopeless world that we live in. Sometimes reminiscing about the past is always filled with much more sunshine than the present cloudy conditions. It would really be nice if I could have a best friend again, I miss that for some reason as well.

6) These were the best though:

I would like to have all these again because, collectively, they capture the very essence of the BFOY experience.